First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
