I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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