dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
