On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
