Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Semen is not good for contacts.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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