We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
