I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The feeling are messing with the penis
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
