woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
17 year olds will be the death of me.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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