Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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