38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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