some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
