just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
