I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
