Jerry, you need to find god
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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