I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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