I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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