I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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