I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
