You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
