Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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