all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
