I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
