I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize