btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
