Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
