We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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