She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
