The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
