Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
she woke up with a sticky ear
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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