Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
