I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize