Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
