Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
