Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
