make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
