I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Randomize
