Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(336): View more from North Carolina

He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.

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(716): View more from New York

i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(404): View more from Georgia

Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.

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(940): View more from Texas

Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?

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