wanna go halves on a baby?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
