he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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