And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize