David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
