Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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