return my video game
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
