dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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