You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
