Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
