Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
