Don't make out with my wife yet
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Say something about gay babies.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize
