You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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