I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
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Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
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I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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