So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
