I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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