wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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