dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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