Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize