I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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