Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Randomize
