I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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