So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Randomize
