dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
That accounts for only three of the penises
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
