We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The beer is more important than you right now.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Randomize
