yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
