I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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