i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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