How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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