I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
