dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
